


Ashari Demolition Services

by PeppyCleric



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 23:55:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14389770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyCleric/pseuds/PeppyCleric
Summary: I'm an asshole who can't finish multi-chaps so here's a one-shot that I sure wish happened canonically.





	Ashari Demolition Services

**Author's Note:**

> I'm an asshole who can't finish multi-chaps so here's a one-shot that I sure wish happened canonically.

"Are you sure you don't want me to heal you?" Pike asks, her head poking into Keyleth's room around the door. 

"I'm sure, go have fun in town. I'm sure I'll be fine after a nap," Keyleth tells her, adding a fake cough to sell the charade. Pike doesn't seem convinced, but she shuts the door and Keyleth can hear her rushing to join the rest of Vox Machina. She waits until the clanking and loud voices of her friends is too far to be heard before getting out of her bed. 

"First things first," she tells herself. "Vex will be angry if she has to buy new furniture because I broke it all." 

Keyleth opens the door to the hall, checking to make sure no one was lingering and about to catch her in the act. The coast clear, she begins to fill the hallway with everything in her bedroom. Any loose clothing just gets tossed to the floor, small stones and notebooks full of pressed herbs get carefully set, and random baubles, vials, and bits of metals find homes on any flat surface she can find that isn't within the room itself. 

It takes longer than she had expected, but eventually her room is almost as empty as it possibly could be. A broken quill is left on the floor where she had found it under her small writing desk, a bit of crumpled parchment with all writing crossed out is left in a corner, and her bed has been pushed up against the wall she shares with Grog. 

The bedsheets were due for a wash anyways, she reasons. Any rubble that gets on them will just be extra motivation. 

Keyleth nods to herself, taking a deep breath that ends up making her cough a little, and closing her door. She glances around, double checking that she's alone in the hall, before heading towards Vex's bedroom. 

 

* * *

 

"Have fun dear!" Vex calls over her shoulder to her brother, brushing soap suds off her cheek and onto her shoulder as she does so. 

"I'll bring something back for my nephew," he calls back on his way out the door.

"Good, he's being such a good boy, aren't you Trinket?" she coos to him, scritching behind his ears as she lathers up his fur. He snorts, making her nose crinkle at the hot air blown in her face. 

"I suppose it's a good thing you went and got all muddy, although really darling if you were hot we could have done something about that," she told him, getting up to rinse the suds from the back of his head and neck. "Nothing to do about it now buddy, but at least this way we're here if Keyleth needs anything. She must not be too sick if she didn't want Pike to spend her magic on her, surely it would have just taken a jiffy to get her back in shape." 

Vex was mostly talking to herself at this point, Trinket enjoying his bath too much to pay her any mind. It wasn't like he could talk back and she wasn't about to drop a spell on him to make him do so, not when enemies could drop in at any moment. Things were quiet in the keep, and had been so for the past week they had spent there. The longer they went without conflict, without adventure, the more nervous she grew that it would find them whether they liked it or not. Still, it was comforting to have someone to talk to without having to watch her words.

Trinket's bath continues in this same vein, her scrubbing and rinsing his fur while she talks, with only grunts and snorts in response from him. She has him standing on his hind legs, rinsing the fur on his stomach when they hear loud crashing and rumbling from inside the keep.

"Oh shit," she says, dropping the bucket and whipping around to look at the keep. She had been washing Trinket about twenty feet away from the chapel and they could see the walls of the keep shaking though none of the stained glass shattered. The rumbling continued as she ran towards the keep. 

"Come on buddy! Bathtime later, bad guys now!"

 

* * *

 

"Keyleth, what the fuck?" Vex's voice, immediately following the slam of the door into the wall, broke Keyleth's focus. The head of her large, earth elemental form groaned as it turned to face the open doorway, a large fist dropping the chunk of wall she had just ripped away noisily to the ground. A sound like two rocks being crashed against each other came from her as she grasped for words to explain herself.

"Keyleth. You can speak Common when you're like that, don't try to hide." Vex frowned, crossing her arms, and Keyleth could hear Trinket growling loudly farther down the hall. Her frown deepened as she stepped back into the hall for a moment to reassure him. "I know buddy, I'll make her clean everything up so you can fit through again."

"I can explain." If an earth elemental could look embarrassed, Keyleth was the perfect image. "You're supposed to be in Emon."

"I'm not the one who needs to explain herself right now, but if you must know, Trinket got himself dirty and needed a bath." They could both hear Trinket noisily shaking himself dry in the hall. "You're supposed to be sick."

"Oh yeah." A grinding sound came from Keyleth as she tried to fake a cough. There was a pause as Vex raised her eyebrow, unamused, and Keyleth debated giving up the charade. It didn't last long, Keyleth quickly coming to the conclusion that it was best to come clean. 

"Okay look, I had this plan. It's just, you know, these bedrooms are all the same size but you and Trinket share, and, and it just doesn't seem very fair for you to have barely any for yourself when I have all this extra space I don't use! I mean, I have a writing desk! What am I going to do with that, I don't write to anyone, when do I have the time? We're always on the road!" 

"Keyleth, breathe," Vex interrupted. "What does any of that have to do with you blocking the hall and breaking things?" 

"I really only broke the wall a little, I was just getting started. Oh, and the quill, but who knows when that happened."

"Keyleth!"

"While everyone was in town I planned to knock down the wall between our rooms and then build it back up so that your room was bigger than it used to be but clearly I did not get that far," she rushed. 

"And how, pray tell, did you plan to rebuild the wall? Let alone quickly enough to get it done before everyone got home? What if it had been important, what if you made the ceiling collapse?" Vex asked, fighting the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose out of exasperation. 

"I uh, I didn't really think that far ahead," Keyleth answered, sheepish. "I was just thinking about not getting caught." 

"It's a little too late for that now, darling," Vex told her wryly, dropping her arms and setting her hands on her hips, moving to survey the damage. After a moment, she nods to herself and turns to Keyleth, the corner of her mouth lifting into a smile. 

"Finish the demo," she tells her, patting a large stone arm. "But the wall stays down. Your bed is ruined, so it looks like we'll be sharing from now on." 

Keyleth, at a loss for words and flustered by the flirty tone, just nods and watches as Vex makes her way out of the room, purposefully catching Keyleth's attention with the way she moved as she made her exit. She disappears through the doorway and a moment passes before she hears -

"Oh, and get your shit out of the hallway so my bear can walk darling!"

 


End file.
